Starbucks Soliloquy

My desk is an absolute mess and I vowed today that if I accomplished one thing it would be to clean it up.

While I was throwing away random scraps of paper, I came across a Starbucks bag that once contained a cookie...or possibly a brownie (there were chocolate remnants inside it). On the outside of the back, beside the Starbucks Coffee logo with the weird two tailed mermaid, it said the following in wispy inspiring-looking font.

flavours

my senses
sweetens my disposition
stirs my imagination

nourishes

my dreams

Are you KIDDING me? A chocolate chip cookie from Starbucks does none of these things. Here's what I think it should read.

dulls

my senses

sweetens my blood

stirs my bowels

nourishes

uh, nothing

That's a little more adequate of a description, right?

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Ha.........Ha....pppy? Bir.....

Today (now, officially) is my twenty-eighth birthday. 2-8.
Which has left me feeling a little.......alright.
It's not about vanity (maybe a bit, in terms of boobies), but really? It's just that I can't believe that I'm 28. That I have lived 28 years....and yet....so much still to do.

I'm scared.

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Squirrel in a Bag

This was emailed to me the other day by Jason Noiles. When I asked Jason to describe what they tasted like he said, "Sort of bbq-ish. I couldn't get a distinct flavour from them. BBQ but with a sort of vaguely chemically aftertaste. Really really not nice."

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Sunday.

Feeling low today, but in a calm way.
So.
Nina Simone.

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The End of Bush

"There's an old saying in Tennessee— I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee— that says, fool me once, shame on, shame on you. Fool me, you can't get fooled again."

- President G.W. Bush

I know, I know, I'm a Canadian. I should be paying attention to things that Canadian politicians say and do, and talking on my website about the state of my country in terms of politics. And I do. But seriously? I'm excited for the end of Bush....not because I hate him, how can I hate someone so seriously misinformed and stupid? I'm just so stoked for Obama to start pounding down some truth to Americans.

Honestly? I don't know how they're going to take it. What do you mean free health care will mean raising taxes?! What do you mean I can't get a mortgage for $400,000 with less than 15% interest down? I have to wonder, is it a coincidence that Obama is coming to Canada first? They (those news-y people) keep saying our banks are still strong despite the slow crumbling of the US economy. And I think he wants to know how that's possible. Oh and how we have "free" health care. He might want to know that too (pssst! The secret is we pay A LOT of tax, pay our nurses shit money and still carry a debt because of it). But, I think Obama might actually take this job, you know, seriously. Which is fantastic! But Americans....be careful what you wish for.

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Some Kind of Hint

I just read this review for a Buddhist temple on Yelp, the website I'm currently working for:

I found real meaning of life and find way to go in my life.
Teaching of Happy Science is universal.
I am very sure many people can get some kind of hint from the teaching.
I try to have a quiet time even just for short time in a day to review myself.

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Toronto, How I Love/Loath Thee

If Vancouver is one of those guys that wows you right away with his handsomeness but then never calls, Toronto is one of those sorta ugly guys that ends up being really great in bed but farts while you spoon him (and you're on the outside of the spoon).

All this is to say: I have such a love hate relationship with this city. BIG up! BIG down!

I love that my friends are here. That I can hop on the TTC and get to them and pretty much anywhere. The oportunities! The services! The museums! I love that it's old. I love that it's kinda worn thin in areas. I love that there is so much to do. I love that it's not on a coast, even, sometimes.......because coastal cities tend to be lazy in all other aspects of culture. It's like they can just say, "Hey! We've got the OCEAN? Who needs galleries?" Plus people here seem just so......Canadian, but then, from everywhere else in the world at the same time.

Oh but yes. I hate it at times. The smell(s). The cigarette butts. The garbage (oh the garbage). The rats. The lack of space.

But.
This is where I am now. And right now I am...content.

On that note, I unexpectedly tried rock-climbing the other night and....LOVED IT. And felt full of confidence and pride as I scaled 40 ft. walls. And I will go back. I will climb more. Hey, it's a new year. Confidence is IN in 2009, that's what I say.

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Distilled Water For Whatever

I found this bottle in my Dad's workshop over the holidays.

Me: (laughing)
Dad: What?
Me: Distilled Water.....For Whatever!
Dad: Well then you know what it is.
Me: (laughing more)
Dad: (smiling) Why is that funny?
Me: No, it's funny because you put "For Whatever" because of course it's—
Dad: But it's distilled water, that way people don't think it's alcohol or whatever and they know they can use it.
Me: Right, but you don't like, label your screws "Screws For Whatever"
Dad: ....no, but it's just so that other people know they can use it.
Me: For whatever.
Dad: Exactly.

Oh god how that made me laugh! Dad, if you're reading this, you're the funniest (when you mean to be AND when you don't mean to be).

But I think this kind of reasoning is coming my way....I'm genetically programmed to start labeling things that don't necessarily need labeling. My brother mentioned that it (the distilled water for whatever) was like my Grandma, and how she has labeled the hand soap in their bathroom "SOAP", even though it is CLEARLY hand soap. Funnier still was when she had family visiting from Holland and relabeled it "ZEEP", which is dutch for soap...

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