Several years ago I got a black eye. It happened quite unexpectedly and freakish-ly when I fainted in the doorway of my (then) bathroom and whacked it on a glass doorknob on the way down. An ambulance was called, my roommate thought I was dead, I threw up on myself...sigh, good times.
The other night I was out with my very best-est friend Jen and we were talking about how crazy my eye looked. I had to walk around campus for two weeks with a black/blue/purple/green/yellow eye. It was also crazy watching people trying not to ask about it or people who would ask about it and think I was being abused by my boyfriend or something (if you met him, you'd realize how bizarre a notion that is). So, I wrote a piece for the website Yankee Pot Roast, which I am happy to say is still thriving down there in the U.S of A after all these years. It was in their now, I believe, defunct "soapbox" section. You can read it here.
I also asked Jen whether or not she remembered me telling her what the doctor told me while he stitched up my eye. She did.
First of all, I'll preface this by saying that I talk TO EVERYONE. I am curious by nature about people. This can sometimes work to my disadvantage, but mostly? It works to my advantage. I was once caught drinking in public by a disgruntled cop and whilst in the back of his squad car getting the ticket, I chatted so openly with him, asking questions about the paperwork required when he pulls out his gun, etc. etc., that by the end of the conversation he was happily showing me exactly where in the extremely fine print of my ticket I could just "show up" to get the fine lowered.
I like to ask people questions, especially about their professions. So, when this doctor had to stitch up my eye I asked him what was the craziest thing he ever saw. He was baffled. Apparently he'd seen a lot of craziness. I got more specific. "What's the craziest eye thing you've ever seen?" He told me that he once had to remove a guy's eye because he decided to tie a knife to the end of an arrow...an arrow that was sitting cocked and ready to fire in the bow. And so, one slip of the wrist and BAM, the guy shot not only an ARROW but an ARROW WITH A KNIFE ATTACHED TO IT into his eye.
Best story ever.
And with that? I sleep.
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