Give Generously?
Monday, June 18, 2007
I broke down the other day and tossed a Toonie into the cap of the homeless guy sitting outside Blockbuster. I don’t normally donate money like this for several reasons, one being that some, maybe even several, homeless people don’t always spend their cash wisely (and therefore I would be contributing to some larger problem) and the other being that if I give to the guys in my neighbourhood upon seeing me every time afterwards they will expect money (the very same problem that occurs when you feed strays). Yes I KNOW it isn’t the same, but it sometimes causes the same manipulative results (puppy dog eyes, whimpering/pleading) that lead to feelings of utter guilt (not to mention possible violent outbursts when you say no, much like a bear ransacking a house looking for food you refuse to give).
But I am a loving person (despite having just compared the homeless to bears), a person who believes that people are good and not always what they seem and worthy of help and so when the man asked me in a very gentle voice I made the mistake of making eye contact and the blue of his eyes grabbed me and I said “Okay” and gave a Toonie.
On my way home from my run this morning I saw by my blue eyed Gentle Ben as he was talking on a pay phone outside of Starbucks. As I passed he started screaming into the phone, “YOU FUCKING PRICK COCKSUCKER! NO! IT’S NOT GOING TO WORK! YOU CUNT! YOU FUCKING FUCK!” and then hung up. I sped up slightly so he wouldn’t see me. Looking over my shoulder I heard him turn and ask a man walking by if they had any change. The man obliged.
I’m not really sure how I feel about it.
4 Comments:
minn- did i ever tell you about the man shrieking into the payphone at bloor and spadina last valentine's?
(ps- this man was in a suit, looked to have a fresh haircut and was holding a bouquet of roses)
Well-dressed shrieker:
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN ITS OVER?!.................HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!!.....WHO??!!...... DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE MAKING ME DO RIGHT NOW?!........................AHHHHHHHH!!!"
(pps- this man began vigorously smacking a telephone pole with the roses. and then hanging up and hanging up and hanging up the receiver)
this is all to say, that i was not sure what to do either.
Maj? You never told me this? But it makes sense. We attract these people? (or do they attract us?). There must have been petals flying everywhere. i would have liked to have seen the petals. That is all.
I never just "hang-up" a phone. It's so fifties. Its so passe. In this, the modern world, I want to make my self known. I want to be recognized. I want to be flashy and downloadable. And how do I do that? By smashing a mothafuckin' phone!!! Nothing sais hip and with it more than taking your rage out in a public place and smashing things. Oh man, you'll be the king of your castle, the queen of your subjects, the not-quite actualized transgendered ftm named Ted of your Bed. Rage is the new cool. YESSS!
P.S. some people who have income problems and are living in streets have some sort of mental illness. That person may or may not have been of sound mind. However, the money you gave him may have prevented that person from performing a more drastic action in order to obtain such funding. You may have prevented him from prostitution even. I know its crazy...but you are a hero!
Chris--
I actually like to use phones as weapons, like throw them at people. It reminds them that I can make a weapon out of anything, I mean, if I have to.
I don't like to think of myself as a hero, but I will. Because really, if you think about it, I am prett-y amazing.
(cough)