Hi Adam,
Yes, I'm from Canada. Yes I am clean and I keep my hair and toenails and fingernails etc. tidy. Why did your parents put a stop to your trip to Toronto? It's because of the strong beer and 19-year drinking age, isn't it?
Before I go on, I will mention this in passing - in a way not discreet or cool and definitely not mean: I have a boyfriend. BUT in saying this I am now free to also say THIS: you should come to Toronto and take over the Canadian scene.
Just think!
A beautiful blond snowboarder or a lobster-fishing red-head!
You could get a French Canadian women - Tres Magnifique!
For you ADAM - You could find your Eve in Winnipeg, Victoria or even Whitehorse!!
You could meet a woman....with the wit and humour of Katherine O'Hara, the voice of Kim Cattrell, the beauty of Linda Evangelista, and the boobs of Pamela Anderson (although I'm pretty sure THOSE are American).
You could bring her home to the U.S. of A.,let her accent amuse your friends. They would laugh at the way she puts U's in the word "color". You could have a little argument about it over the scrabble board one day. It could be your first fight. She would argue Oxford, while you would lean on Webster.
She could speak french. "BONJOUR! Comment t'apelle tu? Quelle heure a'til? Je juis un annanna." [trans. "HELLO! What's your name? What is the time? I am a pinapple.]
Or she could shovel the snow from your driveway in thirty seconds flat, make pure maple syrup from the trees in your backyard or, if you're into it, smoke a fat blunt stuffed with BC chronic.
But things could go wrong.
She could begin to resent your American ways, and come to hate you from tearing her from her home and native land. She'll miss the snowmobile races, the Tim Horton's double-double, poutine, and Ketchup chips (look it up).
And humour! WELL. Women in Canada really like a guy with a sense of humour. Humour with a "u". And we're not just saying that like American girls do. We really really do.
I think you'd be great up here, with the Canadian ladies.
We like our men funny,
our bobsleds fast,
and our homosexuals MARRIED.
Because the winter's are cold my friend, the winter's are cold.
Again, good luck.
Your sistah to the north,
Kim
p.s. The website won't work on Netscape....I'm trying to fix it but I suck at the website stuff.
p.p.s. Sorry if you don't think this is funny. I had fun writing it.....oh, and don't believe Dan Kennedy when he says I'm a psycho.
…And thanks for checking out my site. It means a lot to have...support.
